Twas the eve before Christmas
and all through the shop
not a power tool was whirring
I heard only the clock.

The duners and gearheads passed out by the stove
with memories and dreams of trails they've rode
and Fido sprawled out and me on my creeper
I settled in for a four hour sleeper

when out in the driveway I heard a clutch chatter
I sprang from my creeper to see whats the matter
as I ran to the window I tripped on a tranny
slipped in some ninety weight and fell flat on my fanny

I got to the window and what did I see
a beat up old buggy with front wheels replaced by skis
I rubbed my eyes twice and saw a strange glow
there were eight big ol critters with that buggy in tow!

the driver was large and had lots of white hair
all of a sudden it hit me , I knew who was there
for weeks I have been waiting for a big brown van
and here he comes in a buggy, the UPS MAN!

suddenly he started screaming at the critters in front
and the buggy started moving then it glanced off a stump
faster and faster the buggy got going
the twenty inch paddles were now really rolling

the lead critter had Lazer Stars stuffed in his snout
and said follow me boys "I know the route"
all of a sudden in the wink of an eye
the buggy went vertical straight into the sky

as I stood there with a blank gaze up into the night
I couldn't help but wonder if if my medication had gone awry
I wandered back to my creeper to continue my slumber
assuming solvent fumes did me a number

I just fell to sleep and not one minute after
a huge loud crash rang down from the rafters
the next sound was clicks of a parking brake pawl
then a twenty one eighty dieseled and stalled

All of a sudden the roof door flops down
and down drops this old guy, all dressed in brown
he sets down a huge box on an old smoothie tire
it has a label on it from my favorite parts supplier

then he whips out this cipboard that looks kinda funny
punches some buttons and says "sign here sonny"
he crouched to the floor and shot up through the ceiling
"I'll see you next year, now I must be leaving"

the old man in brown shorts then rooster tails into the night
Screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT"

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i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

so your saying the buggy was being towed............it must have been mine

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Why do I hate everyone?...................because they deserve it