I got 3 wrong, BUT......Almost all of them were common sense questions.......

Who DOESN'T know Richard Petty's number and the color of his car.........I remember going and SEEING him race when I was younger..... it's what you DO when you live in the South.....

Who hasn't heard of Bear Bryant? I mean, really....C'mon!

These were, like, trick questions....

We were raised singing Bluegrass so I have seen pretty much any kind of instrument that is known to man.......and there are both 4 and 5 string banjos.......

Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass (in fact the name "Bluegrass" for that genre of music came from Bill Monroe's band the Blue Grass Boys) played a Mandolin that he left to Ricky Skaggs (who first played a mandolin and sang onstage with Bill Monroe when he was 6) after his death.......and Picky Ricky treasures it above all of his other instruments......

Anybody who has EVER watched The Grand Old Opry should know WSM......it's right there on the microphone stand.......

What else BUT Evinrude could logically come next in the list.....

Vidalia Onions COME from Vidalia, GA.....so DUH.......

The question about Andy's love interest, certainly he was interested in Miss Helen Crump, but what about Ellie Walker, the town Pharmacist.......and there was a Nurse that he saw but Opie got his nose all out of joint over it....

Who doesn't know that a steer is a Bull without his pride....same as a bar is a boar who has lost HIS.....

AND.....I'll have y'all to know that Ihave a HUGE scuppernong vine in my backyard....and it makes a fine jelly.......

See, almost all of these questions are just common sense!

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

Won't get an argument out of me Darlene.
I got a 49........

I didn't know who the bear was because I don't follow college footbal.

Never heard of that scuppernog vine either.
Most not grow up here in the frozen tundra.

Missed a few others that I'd never heard of either.
My neck must be pink, not quite red.............

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Now that would be a tragic moment in an 8 year olds life!

_________________
Water cooled Dry Sumped Subaru Powered Turbo Charged Fuel Injected 2500CC Tank. Oh Rah! He who dies with the most Toys not only wins, He also wears them out!

Husband of the Year Awards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's good to see I'm not alone

_________________
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

[/url]

Haha that's funny right there! Looks like them guys got their wives trained well!

-Dakotah/koko

_________________

-Dakotah/koko
keep on keepin' on!!

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went.

Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.

"I want to get weighed, "she responded.

By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

A guy walks into a jewelry store with this hot blonde. He says to the jeweler, I want to see your finest piece. The jewler brings out this $1,000 bracelet. The guy says, "I don't think you understand, I want to see your finest piece of jewelry." The jewler says okay, and brings back this beautiful $5,000 necklace. The man irritated at this point, repeats his request. "I want to see your FINEST piece of jewelry you have in this damn place." The jewler goes back to the safe, brings out this exquisite $10,000 diamond ring.

The man writes to jewler a check and says, "Now, I know what your are going to think, that the check is bad. That's why I'm going to leave the check, and the ring with you. Come monday morning when the check clears, I'll be in to get the ring." The jewler is ecstatic and says absolutely and thanks the man for his business.

Come monday, the jewler calls the man and says furiously, "What the hell, the check didn't clear, you didn't have any money for that ring!" The man replies, "I know, but I had one hell of a weekend!"

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Two Bikers where out Riding along the back roads when they come upon a huge hole in the ground.

As they approach it they were amazed by the size of it.

The first Biker says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the
bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

The second Biker says" I don't know, let's throw something down and
listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first Biker says "There's that old automobile transmission over there,
give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three,
and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking
over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, and jumped in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole
and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks
up. "Say there", says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my
goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first Biker says " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing
here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hundred miles an hour and just jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

The old farmer said "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a
Old transmission!"

Now thats funny!

_________________
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

[/url]

My apologies in advance to our fair haired gals..........

A Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.

May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.

June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.

August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.

September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!

December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

MY NEW TRUCK

I bought a new GMC Sierra and returned it to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio.

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!' and in an instant ' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,' I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him. I yelled, 'Ass Hole!'

Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States ."



Damn I love this truck......

_________________
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
M
A
G
A

The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor's
office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

29% responded, "Yes, it is a serious problem."

71% responded, "No es una problema seriosa."

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Mexican words of the day
>
>
>
> 1. *Cheese*
>
> The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a
> sentence. Pepito
>
> replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat.
>
>
>
> 2. *Mushroom*
>
> When all my family get in the car, there's not
> mushroom.
>
>
>
> 3. *Shoulder*
>
> My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know
> how to read so
>
> I shoulder.
>
>
>
> 4. * Texas *
>
> My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering
> where I'm at!
>
>
>
> 5. *Herpes*
>
> Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got
> herpes.
>
>
>
> 6. *July*
>
> Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me!
> Julyer!
>
>
>
> 7. *Rectum*
>
> I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!
>
>
>
> 8. *Chicken*
>
> I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go
> by herself.
>
>
>
> 9. *Wheelchair*
>
> We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry,
> wheelchair.
>
>
>
> 10. *
>
> Chicken* *wing*
>
> My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
>
>
>
> 11. *Harassment*
>
> My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her
> honey,
>
> harassment nothing to me.
>
>
>
> 12. *Bishop*
>
> My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.
>
>
>
> 13. *Body wash*
>
> I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.
>
>
>
> 14. *Budweiser*
>
> That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so
> ugly?
>
>
>

For number 14:

Her face is so ugly cause she's a butter-face.
-Everything looks good on 'er, better face.

-Dakotah/koko

_________________

-Dakotah/koko
keep on keepin' on!!

Life in these United States

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is 'nature,'
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.
3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.


You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!'


AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and the banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey!

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

that could be put any better

_________________
i wana ride, i wana ride, i wana ride

ATTENTION - ROADS CLOSED THIS WEEKEND

For those of you who might be considering a road trip, be advised:
Portions of I-64, I-70, I-29, and I-90 will be closed this weekend.
Expect long delays along these interstate highways plus major
traffic disruptions in Charleston, WV , Louisville , KY , St
Louis, MO , Kansas City, MO , and Omaha, NE.

A 500-ton piece of coal is being moved from West Virginia to South
Dakota so that Barack H. Obama can be added to Mt. Rushmore

_________________
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
M
A
G
A

thats just great i have i-70 and i-29 to deal with now. why did they not take it down i-80?

_________________

An elderly man on a Moped,
Looking about 100 years old,
Pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
' What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?'

The doctor replies, ' A Ferrari GTO.
It cost half a million dollars ! '

' That's a lot of money,' says the old man.
' Why does it cost so much?'

' Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour !' States the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks,
'Mind if I ta ke a look inside ?'

' No problem,' replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, ' That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped !'

Just then the light changes,
So the doctor decides to show
The old man just what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds
The speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot
In his rear view mirror.
It seems to be getting closer !

He slows down to see what it could be
And suddenly
WHOOOOSSSHHH !

Something whips by him going much faster !

' Wha t on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the
Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him,
He sees that it's the old man on the Moped !

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari,
He gives it more gas
And passes the Moped at 275 mph
And he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his
Mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN !

Astounded by the speed of this old guy,
He floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari All the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped
Bearing down on him again !
The Ferrari is flat out,
And there's nothing he can do !

Suddenly, the Moped plows
Into the back of his Ferrari,
Demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably
The old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says,
' I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you ?'

The old man whispers,
' Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror '.

A teacher in a Detroit, Michigan kindergarten class

asked her students if they could tell the class what

sound a pig makes.





Little Tyrone stood up and said:


"Up against the wall mother fucker!"

I guess there are not too many farms in Detroit .....!!

_________________
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

[/url]

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such
an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a
wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy
waved her magic wand and - poof!

Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never
come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral is:
Men who are ungrateful should remember that fairies are female.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

New government program:

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this...

Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the
delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person.

The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding
scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the
highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted
groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their
government prescribed weight.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried
foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel
sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This
will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts
harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two...". We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.......Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

IDIOT SIGHTING AT HOME:
My sister-in-law came to visit for a few days and after taking a shower that first evening, she calmly told me that our tub had a leak. I question this and she says, "Go see for yourself, there's water all over the floor." I check the tub only to find that she had the shower curtain on the outside of the tub while showering . She's my husbands sister and has blond hair.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing. ' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida, I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said "Cool!"

STAY ALERT! They walk among us. . . and they REPRODUCE. . .

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page