Subject: UNDERWEAR DUST



One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny,
said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your
clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your
butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such
a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his
drawer. 'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud
appeared when he shook them out.

'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?'

She replied ... 'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow''

_________________
drive it like you know how too fix it

now that was cruel and really hitting below the belt there redrail,but i bet he learned his lesson

_________________
Phillip

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.

That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again...

He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

What did two lesbian vampires say to each other?

"Same time, next month?"

_________________
"Loud pipes saves lives"

Gag THAT is just NASTY Badvw.........

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

There are African Americans,
Mexican Americans,
Asian Americans,
Arab Americans,
Native Americans, etc.
.....And then there are just -
Americans.


You pass me on the street
and sneer in my direction.
You Call me 'White boy,'
'Cracker,' 'Honkey,'
'Whitey,' 'Caveman,'
.....And that's OK.


But when I call you n!&&$r,
Kike, Towel head,
Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,
Beaner, Gook, or Chink,
.....You call me a racist.


You say that whites commit a lot
of violence against you,
so why are the ghettos the most
dangerous places to live?


You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Hispanic History Month.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Asian History Month.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have Yom Hashoah.
You have Kawanza.
You have the NAACP.
And you have BET.


If we had WET
(White Entertainment Television)
.....We'd be racists.


If we had a White Pride Day
.....You would call us racists.


If we had White History Month
.....We'd be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites
to 'advance' OUR lives,
.....We'd be racists.


We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,
a Black Chamber of Commerce,
and then we just have the plain
Chamber of Commerce.
Wonder who pays for that?


If we had a college fund that only gave
white students scholarships
.....You know we'd be racists.


There are over 60 openly-proclaimed
Black-only Colleges in the US,
yet if there were 'White-only Colleges'
.....THAT would be a racist college.


In the Million-Man March,
you believed that you were
marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights,
.....You would call us racists.


You are proud to be black,
brown, yellow and red,
and you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride
.....You call us racists.


You rob us,
carjack us,
and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer
shoots a black gang member
or beats up a black drug-dealer
who is running from the LAW and
posing a threat to ALL of society
.....You call him a racist.


I am proud.
.....But, you call me a racist.


Why is it that only
whites
can be racists?

Damn right!!!

_________________
If its got boobs or a motor its gonna give you trouble!!

Though that is NOT a joke, Those are the most truthful words I had ever heard I try not to be racist but these words ARE facts and truth, so if that makes me a racist because I believe what Bruce said then I guess I'm racist.

_________________
When in doubt, hit it in second gear!

A True Story from the Jacksonville, Fl., Police Dept.

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no he only lives a mile away.

About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the man to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Joe is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.

The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.

True story: Told by the driver at his first AA meeting.

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

I had posted this before in the Politic'n Thread....It was the one that was accidentally deleted.......It got a really strong response back then.....I believed it when I posted it before and I still believe it when Bruce posts it..... and I have been called way worse than a racist..... I can live with it.....

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

It was sent to me and I thought I would post it.

I try not to be racist either, but most would say I am!

Damn, not a joke but...........damn, poor kid..............
From Leatherneck:

How many times have we been told...and told our children NOT to run in the house?
Did we always listen? Do they listen? Not always.
Sometimes our seemingly futile efforts fail, and 'boo-boo's' happen.
Here is a little feller who didn't listen, and he got his own souvenir scars.
Perhaps he'll learn from his mistake.

Doesn't look SO bad. Perhaps he should keep this next photo handy
to explain the way it happened - - - -
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
Hope this was taken in the ER.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

OH Man! Poor little guy. Better not let to many of todays young people see that or it will become the new Piercing fad "GOT FOOD"

_________________
Water cooled Dry Sumped Subaru Powered Turbo Charged Fuel Injected 2500CC Tank. Oh Rah! He who dies with the most Toys not only wins, He also wears them out!

OUCH THAT hurt ME Bless his little heart

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.

Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship
(and being married men, we all know THAT doesn't happen), it ends up
costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court
costs.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000
an hour. Crazy, right?

But...

Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid
$7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of
$41+million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no
coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs
around you, no bitching and complaining or 'to do' lists. Best of
all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready
for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.* *

Is it just me, or is it better to lease?

_________________
Rick

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno's.What you do today,Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa,
half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America,
well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India,
very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France,
gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia,
lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia,
very wide and borders are now unpatrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only
those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit
there.
........................................................................


GEOGRAPHY OF MEN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq - ruled by a d - -k.

_________________
Rick

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno's.What you do today,Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow

I had to look twice....I thought, for a minute, that you were saying they were ruled by D & K..... I was thinking, Dang, Gizmo MUST have a BODACIOUS Park

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

See that's where it would only cost me $3.65 million per hour each session.
If I couldn't go for at least two hours, I wouldn't even bother........

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Is that 2 hours or 2 minutes? Sorry Gary just could not help my myself

_________________
Water cooled Dry Sumped Subaru Powered Turbo Charged Fuel Injected 2500CC Tank. Oh Rah! He who dies with the most Toys not only wins, He also wears them out!

Put your glasses on Steve, it's there in writing, 2 hours...........

Two minutes is for teenagers.........or Buckeyes........

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

You're killing me, HoosierTurbo

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

Glad to oblige you Georgia Peach ........

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Yep, that would be me

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

SOUTHERN HUMOR!!!!




Some of you will enjoy this more than others...
Southerners can be so polite!


Atlanta Air Traffic Control : 'Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.

Saudi Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC.
Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised.'

Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Iran Air 711 --
You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R.'

Iran Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC.
We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great.'

Pause...
Saudi Air: ' ATLANTA ATC!!!!! -...
ATLANTA ATC!!!!!'

Atlanta ATC: 'Go ahead Saudi Air 511.'

Saudi Air: 'YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE.'

Atlanta ATC: 'Well bless your hearts.
And praise Jesus.
Y'all be careful now
and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- '


The Wild Kids

_________________
I refuse to grow up therefore I will never grow old, and I will never die.