now that was just sick spector

_________________
Phillip

There once was a man from Kanass
Whose balls were made out of brass
And in stormy weather
He would bang em together
And sparks would fly out of his ass

_________________
If its got boobs or a motor its gonna give you trouble!!

There once was a virgin named Bess
Who had no sins to confess
Her preacher gave her a screw
And said now you do
And left her twat quite a mess

_________________
If its got boobs or a motor its gonna give you trouble!!

And the last little poem I can remember off the top of my head................................

Hag hag you horrible nag,
you greasy grimy slut
maggets crawl in your nose
and worms crawl out your but
before i'd lie between those thighs
and kiss those festered tits
I'd drink a gallon of buzzard piss
And die of the bloody shits.

_________________
If its got boobs or a motor its gonna give you trouble!!

Ok, Spectator, I am a little bit nauseated...THOSE were just sick and twisted.......Mine is corny but ...........well, there IS no but, it's just corny.......

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks,
"Bartender, got any specials today?"

Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of
Fact we have a new drink, invented by
A gynecologist patron of ours.
It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"

The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE..

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

good ones tater

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

Thanks purple! I liked the one of yours about Jill, hadn't heard that one before but I got it logged in my memory bank now. I think we share the same sense of humor

_________________
If its got boobs or a motor its gonna give you trouble!!

Top Ten Country Western Songs

Top Ten Country Western Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Me and my brother tim a hunting we did go
we came upon 3 women a sleeping in a row
all though they were 3 and we were 2
I bucked one and timbuctoo

A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley
>
>
>
> On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to
> play together.
>
> One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog
> and began to sink.
>
> Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go
> get the farmer for help!
>
> Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm,
> he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for
> he had gone to town with the only tractor.
>
> Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
>
> Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a
> length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's
> life.
>
> Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see
> the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get
> a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.
>
> After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's
> bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid
> of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
>
> Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the
> farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he
returned.
>
>
> The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best
> Buddies, Best Pals.
>
> A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon,
> he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his
> life!
>
> The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the
> large puddle.
>
> Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down
> thing and he would then lift him out of the pit
>
> The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and
> out, saving his life.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The moral of the story?
>
>
> (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)
>
>
>
>
> "When You're Hung Like A Horse,
>
>
> You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"

_________________
Kathy
"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man".
http://www.dandkoff-roadpark.com/forum.html

a city fella bought a farm and decided he needed some animals. So he walks down the road and sees a farm with rooseters for sale. The city fella thinks it just isn't a farm with out a rooseter so he stops to buy one. The farmer sells him a rooster and tells him that around here we call them cocks.

City fella walks on down the road and sees a farmer selling chickens. Well whats a rooster good for with out chickens. He walks up to the farmer and asks about his chickens. The farmers says around here we call them pullits and sells the pullits to the farmer.

City fella starts walking home and sees a farmer selling mule so he stops and asks the farmer about it. The farmer says well around here we call them asses. The ass is a littel funny when he stops walking you gotta scratch him a little and he will start walking again.

City fella starts wakling back to his farm when his ass just sits down. Just happens that a lady was walking down the road and he asks ma'am will you hold my cock and pullit while i scratch my ass?

what did the sign on the whorehouse say?

we're closed. beat it.

_________________
Mike
Got Honda?

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

Still no eye deer

What do you call a deer with no legs, no dick, and no eyes?

Still no fuckin eye deer

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

Man has a frog that he taught to jump on command. He decided to perform an experiment. He set the frog on the ground and said, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped five feet. The man wrote that down then pulled out a pair scissors and hacked off one of the frogs legs. He put him back down on the ground and said, "Jump frog!" The frog jumped four feet. The man wrote that down and picked up his pair of scissors and hacked off another leg. He set him back down and said, "Jump, frog!" The frog only managed two feet this time. The man wrote that down and once again picked up his scissors ad hacked off a limb. He set the frog down and said, "Jump frog!" The frog somehow managed to flop forward a half a foot. The man recorded it on his notebook and then chopped off the frog's remaining leg. He set the frog down and said, "Jump frog!" The frog just sat there. "Jump Frog!" No response. The man wrote in his notebook. Conclusion: Frogs with no legs are deaf.

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

A lady was walking on the beach one day when she walked by a guy with no arms and no legs crying. She stopped and asked what was wrong and they guy said i have never been kissed by a women before. Thinking nothing of it she bent down and kissed. Next day the guy was in the same spot crying she stopped asked what was wrong and he said I never been held by a women before. She sits down and holds him for awhile and leaves. The next day same thing guy crying. She stops asks whats wrong and he said i've never been screwed by a women before. Women bends down picks up and throws him in the ocean and says your screwed now.

A woman who just turned 50 is at home, naked, happily jumping on her bed and laughing with delight.
Her husband watches for a few minutes and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you ? "
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that, not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 yr. Old."
The husband asks, "What did he say about the 50 year old ass ?"
She replies, "Your name never came up" !!!

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

I am just going to go right on ahead and say EEWWW!!!!



The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries
and a drink.



He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in
half, placing one half in front of his wife.



He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing
them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of
his wife.



He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set
the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites
of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and
whispering.



Obviously they were thinking, "That poor old couple--all
they can afford is one meal for the two of them."



As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the
table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old
couple. The old man
said they were just fine - they were used to sharing
everything.



People closer to the table noticed the little old lady
hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat
and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.



Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him
buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No,
thank you, we are used to sharing everything."



Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face
neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the
little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and
asked "What is it you are waiting for?"



She answered,



(Continue below)





"THE TEETH."

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

Onions & Christmas Trees...

A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20's, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas tree'.
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'

_________________
Kathy
"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man".
http://www.dandkoff-roadpark.com/forum.html

Did you hear about the Dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lay awake all night wondering if there really was a Dog...
-----------------------
Did you hear about the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa!
-----------------------
What does D.N.A. mean ?

National Dyslexia Association...
--------------------------
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse...

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear".

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

rudolph the red nose reindeer, lol damn brett that was lame. hahaha

While trying to escape through Pakistan , Osama Bin Laden found a Brass lamp and picked it up.

Suddenly, a female genie rose from the lamp and with a smile Said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

"You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don 't you know who I am?

I don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden.

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will Be returned to that lamp forever."

Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the impertinence of The woman, and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American Women in my bed in the morning, so just do it and be off with you!"

The annoyed genie said, "So be it !" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.

His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance.

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.

There is a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill comes flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..."

"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" "Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!