that was great!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
harleys and vws----ac all the way

I love my country, But i fear my government

Hey WK, I don't care where you are from N, S, E or W that is funny!!!!!

_________________
When in doubt, hit it in second gear!

I LOVE that one

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

I still ain't got over Turbo. 2HRS Danm it man .Or shouls I say -U DA MAN

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases
it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car
and opens the trunk


She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of
the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench
coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.


Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.


It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly
enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling,
'What's going on here?'


'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly


'Well, what are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the
road?' he asks.


'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde. 'Those are my emergency flashers!"

_________________
harleys and vws----ac all the way

I love my country, But i fear my government

NOAH
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed.
I needed a building permit.
I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.Noah looked up in wonder and asked,'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'



"No," said the Lord."The government beat me to it."


The Wild Kids

_________________
I refuse to grow up therefore I will never grow old, and I will never die.

Mary had a little pig,*

*She kept it fat and plastered;** *

*And when the price of pork went up,*

*She shot the little bastard. *

************************

*MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB** *

*Her father shot it dead. *

*Now it goes to school with her, *

*Between two hunks of bread.*

**********************

*JACK AND JILL Went up the hill** *

*To have a little fun. *

*Stupid Jill forgot the pill *

*And now they have a son. *

************************

*SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair. *

*Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,*

*'What have you got there?'** *

*Said the Pie man unto Simon, *

*'Pies, you Dumb Ass' *

**********************

*HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, *

*Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. *

*All the kings' horses, *

*And all the kings' men. *

*Had scrambled eggs, *

*For breakfast again. *

**********************

*HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, *

*All over the bedside clock. *

*The little dog laughed to see such fun. *

*Then died of electric shock. *

************************

*GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, *

*Kissed the girls and made them cry. *

*And when the boys came out to play, *

*He kissed them too 'cause he was gay *

************************

*There was a little girl who had a little curl *

*Right in the middle of her forehead. *

*When she was good, she was very, very good. *

*But when she was bad........ *

*She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car. *

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

A: Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

Purple, I will never look at chickens the same again

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

What are you trying to tell us Darlene?

You are familiar with chickens?

Kinky gal........... ..........

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

Yeah, me and The Colonel, Truett Cathy, and Popeye are all great friends! My favorite food is chicken......Now....... I just don't know how this image is going to affect my love affair with chicken

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

i need that sticker

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

That reminds me of a pic I saw earlier....minus the boobs

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

Went into the local restaraunt a while back.
Waitress asked me if I wanted the chicken, it was the special that day.

Told her I didn't eat chicken 'cause they eat with their peckers.

Thought I was gonna have to get out the CPR kit to get the gal to start breathing again.........

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.'

So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

God simply replied 'You are what you are.'

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?

The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.''

St.Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.'

The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?'

'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'


WARNING
If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev Wright and Obama will be coming right over to kick your white honky ass !!!!

_________________
Gary

Turbo VW Sand Racer
Polaris Ranger



"If you don't run into the Devil every once in awhile, you must be going in the same direction!"

Davis Motorsports FaceBook Page

guess i better get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
harleys and vws----ac all the way

I love my country, But i fear my government

A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool.
The cat fell in and the rooster laughed......

Wait for it....

A wet pussy always makes a cock happy!

_________________
Where did you say the weenie trail is?

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene

St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people
waiting to enter Heaven.

He asks the next one in line, "So, who are you, and what did
you do on Earth?"

The fellow says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I was the first
black to be elected President of the United States "

St. Peter says, "The U.S.? A black President? You gotta be
kidding me! When did this happen?"

Obama says, "About twenty minutes ago."

The Wild Kids

_________________
I refuse to grow up therefore I will never grow old, and I will never die.

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.

Naturally she agrees, so they make love.

About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey, you know I now have only 18 hrs to live. Could we please do it one more time?"

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.

He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before I die."

She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls fast asleep.

Morris, however, worried about his impending demise, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could........?"

At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning.....you don't."

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

The Rancher

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.
The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'.'
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.'
The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there.'

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot.

One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”

He hadn’t and said so.

Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.

The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

“Well? Is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.

“No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

“Well? What is it, then? What does she do?” his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson.

“Batteries?” cried the wife.

“Yes,” he replied.

“She sells C cells by the sea shore.”

_________________
i dont always ride my buggy but when i do im glad it has a bad ass bow tie makin the horsepower

Jesus loves me, but everyone else thinks im an asshole.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

McCain came out this week with a list of 20 possible running mates. He would not reveal the names of all of them, but he said they all share certain traits, like knowing CPR. He said he wants someone who is ready take over on day two.

_________________
2332cc Air Cooled Screaming Meanie. Predator Singleseat.

"Lets go get stupid"

A man goes to a public golf course.

He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer.

He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."
The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."

Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the bal l landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.

As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right."

The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left"

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine.

He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice.

But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?" The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots.

See you next week.

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop.

Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."

Confused, the golfer cried, "COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible"

The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance.

It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way. "

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President."

_________________

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not."
Thomas Jefferson

Darlene